No One Home..

No One Home.., originally uploaded by cinemaone.

On my way back from Christmas at the fam-fam's, dysfunctional as it may be, and this picture pretty much sums it up.
The connection, the intent, the nuts and bolts, the biology are all there. Except something. One thing, tiny as it may be is not plugged in. Instead I have a family that is not connected, is not a family.

Christmas was stressful. I was not my usual bundle of unbridled fun, that I have been often called, instead, I was a little bit emo and distracted. Conversations were trying and convoluted. Emotionally I felt zero ups or downs. Just cold. My family is aging. Poor health seems to be the fruit of the season.

And I leave them. All of them. To come back to the bay. Where I am mostly anonymous. Mostly friendless. My true love is here and I am lonely. When I am with her, it is like delicious cake. But instead of using each other as a crutch, we take precious time apart. This time apart, I don't know what to do. A little bit aimless, restless, and fatigued as I plop over the bar into 2007.

Things are definitely looking up, though, with school, with work, with living with my honey. Change is in the air, maybe I'm just reluctant. Maybe I'm just cold and this whispy bay air has gotten into my bones.